Warm me up and breathe me.
So this other blogger got me thinking about hugs and hugging. Funny, because it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, without really realizing I’ve been thinking about it.
See, for a long time, I wouldn’t have considered myself much of a hugger. I mean, I happily give my friends and loved ones the requisite hugs hello and goodbye, but that’s about it, and never would have considered it something I get a particular amount of pleasure or fulfillment out of. In fact, there have often been times when I’ve actively shunned contact in general, not wanting anyone in my face (or personal space).
But recently, and specifically with someone in particular, I’ve found that all of a sudden, few things are as nice as just having our arms wrapped around each other. And much to my shock and bewilderment, I actually enjoy remaining this way for long stretches of time. Sometimes hours. There have been nights where we’ve actually spent the entire night completely draped over each other, rolling around each other, breathing into each other... And I think back to those nights with great fondness. And while I totally recognize the hypocrisy of this given the fact that in the past I’ve reacted much more like this blogger and loathed extreme contact while trying to sleep, there’s really nothing I can do about that. Something shifted somewhere, and I don’t really know when or why. But it feels good that it did. It’s amazing to think about how much we can continue to change as human beings, even though the tendency is to think that who were are in the present is somehow fixed.
I’ve done a lot of dating in my life, and found myself wrapped around a lot of different people of all shapes and sizes. And yet, seldom (never?) have I approached this level of comfort or ease. And I find it’s not something that can be explained or put into words. I have no idea why I feel this way with this person in particular, and why I’ve rarely (if ever) felt it before. There’s no logic there, and as scary as that is for someone as anal and reason-oriented as I am, I think I’m learning to just let go and enjoy it for what it is.
See, for a long time, I wouldn’t have considered myself much of a hugger. I mean, I happily give my friends and loved ones the requisite hugs hello and goodbye, but that’s about it, and never would have considered it something I get a particular amount of pleasure or fulfillment out of. In fact, there have often been times when I’ve actively shunned contact in general, not wanting anyone in my face (or personal space).
But recently, and specifically with someone in particular, I’ve found that all of a sudden, few things are as nice as just having our arms wrapped around each other. And much to my shock and bewilderment, I actually enjoy remaining this way for long stretches of time. Sometimes hours. There have been nights where we’ve actually spent the entire night completely draped over each other, rolling around each other, breathing into each other... And I think back to those nights with great fondness. And while I totally recognize the hypocrisy of this given the fact that in the past I’ve reacted much more like this blogger and loathed extreme contact while trying to sleep, there’s really nothing I can do about that. Something shifted somewhere, and I don’t really know when or why. But it feels good that it did. It’s amazing to think about how much we can continue to change as human beings, even though the tendency is to think that who were are in the present is somehow fixed.
I’ve done a lot of dating in my life, and found myself wrapped around a lot of different people of all shapes and sizes. And yet, seldom (never?) have I approached this level of comfort or ease. And I find it’s not something that can be explained or put into words. I have no idea why I feel this way with this person in particular, and why I’ve rarely (if ever) felt it before. There’s no logic there, and as scary as that is for someone as anal and reason-oriented as I am, I think I’m learning to just let go and enjoy it for what it is.
posted by P/O at 11/18/2005 12:08:00 PM
3 Comments:
Yeah! Good for you! :)
I feel the same way with my significant other. It feels so good to just hold and be (And, spooning just makes me go - mmm!)- and that too - not always in a sexual way - I just love the intimacy of that act (I mean not the sex .. well, that too) - the holding. I believe it relates to some deep underlying connection.
A few years ago I hated when anyone even touched me in a "huggy" (it's not a word, I know) sorta way and now - with him, it just feels so "normal", if you will.
To do my share:
Hugs to you, P/O
To think all I did was say "sounds like you need a hug" and it got you thinking about the goodness of hugs. So glad. I've always been an affectionate person, but rarely had someone in my life to be affectionate with until I met my wife.
The thing that is great for us is that we fit. It's as though we were physically designed for each other. No matter if we're hugging standing or in bed tangled up together we just fit. I wonder if that's what you're feeling.
*hug*
It's the phase of love that comes after "infatuation" and before "understanding."
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