Thursday, April 21, 2005

Now doesn't that make you feel better?

Fucking 14th Street. Screw you and your whole holier-than-thou attitude:

“Bow down before me, oh lowly hipster. Worship me as the god of all Manhattan streets. The thoroughfare of dreams to which all others aspire but none will ever achieve. You can try to avoid me all you want, but you know as well as I that your efforts are futile, and that it’s only a matter of time (and not much time at that) before you come crawling back to my gritty sidewalks and crowded neighborhoods.”

You bastard.

How dare you become the epicenter of so much of my New York existence, smirking at the fact that painful memories are dredged up by a simple walk down your clogged and cocky sidewalks. You snake. What gives you the right to slither your way through so many of NYC’s most desirable and oft-visited neighborhoods, coldly leaving your mark on places like the Meatpacking District, the West Village, Chelsea, Union Square, the East Village... I mean, what the fuck. Who died and made you king of cool? President of partying and play? You and your damn express train stops and easily accessible location. My god. You’re even essentially an extension of Williamsburg.

You pig.

You’re right. There’s no way I can possibly avoid you. And I hate you for that. So sit back and enjoy it while you can, because one day I will again be able to consume your bounty untempered by sadness or pain. Have no fear, I will again traverse your once-tainted sidewalks, experiencing only pleasure at the thrill of taking you for all you’re worth. And then what? Where will your cockiness go when you realize that you are powerless and impotent, and live only to serve the myriad desires of thousands (me included) from one end of this island to the other? You think you wield some sort of boundless power due to the fact that we flock to you, when in reality we are the vampires and you are our undying source of blood.

That’s right. So although I’m bleeding now, rest assured that it’s only a matter of time until I heal and am stronger than ever. Get ready to lay down and get sucked.


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