Thursday, June 02, 2005

I suck my tongue, in remembrance of you.

There are so many things I don’t miss in the slightest.

I don’t miss that frustrating inability to communicate. The fact that stupid questions were allowed to bubble constantly under the surface, rather than being addressed directly and openly. I’m not afraid of pain or talking about uncomfortable things, and I’m always happier not having to guess or play games.

I don’t miss that complete unwillingness to plan anything more than a few hours in advance. I do envy the fact that some people’s lives afford them that luxury, but mine simply does not and can not.

I don’t miss that scatter-brained shit. The fact that so much got lost so often, and just had to be re-found. Yeah, no harm done, generally. But I’d rather devote the energy to other things. If you say something, remember you said it; if you do something, remember you did it.

I don’t miss all that hot and cold stuff. Be hot or be cold. Or be somewhere in the middle. But to be hot one moment and cold the next, well that’s just too hard for me to even attempt to keep up with. Did I mention I don’t like having to guess at things?

I don’t miss that obsession with appearances. With the way things look to others. If something works for you, great. And if it doesn’t, sayonara. But to base those feelings on the perceptions of others is not something I can easily wrap my head around.

I don’t miss that feeling that as time marched on the differences between us were becoming more important than the similarities.

I don’t miss all that back and forth. I don’t miss that neighborhood. I don’t miss that uncomfortable room. That uncomfortable bed.

But godDAMN do I miss that mouth.

That tongue.

Those lips.

5 Comments:

Blogger Lostinspace said...

i am sure that he or she misses you. i like it also when people can be straightforward and talk about pain and things that get under their skin.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Blood Ray said...

You know how sometimes you read a someone's blog and a post just makes you go, "whoa, that was cool"? You want to tell the person who wrote it that there was something about it that really got to you, but you can't put your finger on what it is. You know if you try to explain it to said writer that you'll just wind up rambling like a moron.

So, yeah. Cool post.

9:28 PM  
Blogger P/O said...

lost & blood: aw, thanks guys. you're both very sweet.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Mr. H.K. said...

Great post!

Cheers,
Mr. HK
Postcards from Hell's Kitchen.

5:33 PM  
Blogger starrynight52080 said...

Two years ago....I wasn't ready to read your post. Now I found myself two years later and I've just read it because I happend to type in that phrase after going back to Possibly Maybe. Different times for people but same feelings no matter when.

Thanks for the post!
gg

9:03 PM  

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