No, I’ve got instincts of my own.
Some time ago, I ended a long-term relationship. With a girl.
In the time since, the series of hookups in which I’ve participated has been as follows: boy, girl, boy.
All were fun in their own right (all for very different reasons), and all entailed a minimum of emotional involvement and/or drama. Well ok, there’s been some drama, but mostly in that amusing “my life is like a sitcom or low-budget, straight-to-video movie” way, and not in any of the ways that extract any kind of emotional toll. Generally.
And for the most part, my friends have observed in amusement, talking when I want or need them to and remaining silent when prudent. They’re great. I love them.
But I will say this: my straight friends have always been much more accepting of my gender choices than my gay friends have. The straight ones are just like, whatever, and express pretty much no interest in where I land on the whole sexual continuum. The gay ones, on the other hand, take it much more seriously and, in some cases, bordering on personally. In fact, my eyes have been opened to the existence of some sort of widespread distrust of “people like me.”
Interesting.
Interesting, considering the fact that when I’m in a committed relationship, I remain just that: committed to it, regardless of the gender of the other person involved. I've never cheated, and can’t imagine myself doing so. What is that, if not trustworthy?
Interesting also, considering the fact that (and I know how cliché this is, forgive me) it's at the hands of a group that has traditionally suffered widespread judgment and discrimination that I feel judged, and yes in some way discriminated against. Um hello, Log Cabin Republican tirade, anyone? That’s another house upon which I refuse to cast stones, which so many of my gay brothas rush to pelt. And why? You’d think that people who tend to skew outside of the mainstream would be sympathetic to the others that are skating around out there with them.
I was recently asked, somewhat judgmentally, by a gay acquaintance if I’m a “serial monogamist.” Ok, I can accept the question in its own right (I too wonder whether or not lifelong monogamy is “natural” and see nothing wrong with mutually agreed upon open relationships), but later he and his friends proceeded to put me through some sort of twisted “test” to ascertain the level of my commitment to gayness and my exclusivity in dating guys.
So um, I guess it’s ok to be a polygamist, as long as you practice your polygamy exclusively within the boundaries of your own gender?
This post is going to get me in trouble, I know it. Maybe I won’t post it after all.
Ah, who am I kidding.
In the time since, the series of hookups in which I’ve participated has been as follows: boy, girl, boy.
All were fun in their own right (all for very different reasons), and all entailed a minimum of emotional involvement and/or drama. Well ok, there’s been some drama, but mostly in that amusing “my life is like a sitcom or low-budget, straight-to-video movie” way, and not in any of the ways that extract any kind of emotional toll. Generally.
And for the most part, my friends have observed in amusement, talking when I want or need them to and remaining silent when prudent. They’re great. I love them.
But I will say this: my straight friends have always been much more accepting of my gender choices than my gay friends have. The straight ones are just like, whatever, and express pretty much no interest in where I land on the whole sexual continuum. The gay ones, on the other hand, take it much more seriously and, in some cases, bordering on personally. In fact, my eyes have been opened to the existence of some sort of widespread distrust of “people like me.”
Interesting.
Interesting, considering the fact that when I’m in a committed relationship, I remain just that: committed to it, regardless of the gender of the other person involved. I've never cheated, and can’t imagine myself doing so. What is that, if not trustworthy?
Interesting also, considering the fact that (and I know how cliché this is, forgive me) it's at the hands of a group that has traditionally suffered widespread judgment and discrimination that I feel judged, and yes in some way discriminated against. Um hello, Log Cabin Republican tirade, anyone? That’s another house upon which I refuse to cast stones, which so many of my gay brothas rush to pelt. And why? You’d think that people who tend to skew outside of the mainstream would be sympathetic to the others that are skating around out there with them.
I was recently asked, somewhat judgmentally, by a gay acquaintance if I’m a “serial monogamist.” Ok, I can accept the question in its own right (I too wonder whether or not lifelong monogamy is “natural” and see nothing wrong with mutually agreed upon open relationships), but later he and his friends proceeded to put me through some sort of twisted “test” to ascertain the level of my commitment to gayness and my exclusivity in dating guys.
So um, I guess it’s ok to be a polygamist, as long as you practice your polygamy exclusively within the boundaries of your own gender?
This post is going to get me in trouble, I know it. Maybe I won’t post it after all.
Ah, who am I kidding.
posted by P/O at 5/24/2005 05:02:00 PM
3 Comments:
Skewing outside the mainstream is perfectly acceptable in so far as one's skewing causes no harm to others. Your "friend's" rush to judgement of you would seem to be the actions of assholes, but harmless assholes as long as all they are doing is judging. Log Cabin Republicans, however, support a party and a philosophy that has demonstrated itself to be completely antithetical to gays and lesbians everywhere and that has caused incredible harm in the excersize of those policies. Log Cabin Republicans are Quislings of the worst sort and deserve our contempt. Your judgemental gay friends are just short sighted jerkoffs who are probably jealous of the fact that you're able to get your cock hard in the presence of a vagina. I know I am.
i don't think you have to be a polygamist within your own gender. one of my girlfriends in high school openly dated both genders, although the last time i saw her, she was primarily dating only women. i guess i fall into your category of straight friends who are more accepting of your gender choices. but whatever, you should just date whoever you want, girl or boy. it's your life.
scott: good points, all. my main point (though poorly expressed) in invoking the whole log cabin republican thing was that although many of their viewpoints raise the ire and contempt of many others (including me), there's still some intersection in the venn diagram of "them" and "us" (i.e. they sleep with guys). :)
lost: thanks. in my mind, everyone should just be "free to be you and me."
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