Circles and circles and circles again.
It was a whiplash-inducing few days. Unexpected ups and downs, with little space in between. It's always good to get out of the city and hang with the family. Plenty of eating, drinking, and laughing is always involved, and this time it felt particularly amazing to be out on the water again. The start of the season is always so full of the promise of summer; its first unfortunate sunburn worn like a badge of honor.
It was strange to be in my grandparents' house with my dad, helping him go through their stuff. The place is pretty much cleaned out at this point. It was the second time I’d been there since my grandfather died, and I don’t think it ever feels “normal” to be in the houses of loved ones after they’ve passed away. And though it hasn't been all that long, the emptiness was profound and it already seemed cold and foreign. Combing through boxes of old pictures and artifacts was happy and sad and nostalgic and melancholic all at the same time.
I became emotional and contemplative later, when my mom returned to my brother and me some of the things that we'd given Grandma and Grandpa over the years. I was happy to receive them and to be reminded of all those memories (and will gladly display the metrioshka dolls I bought them in Russia all those years ago), but it was definitely bittersweet. When you give gifts to people you love, you never consider the fact that some day you may be getting those gifts back... And it's a harsh reminder of the fact that one day (hopefully still far off in the future) if all goes as it usually does, my brother and I will face doing these same things in our own parents’ house.
It was strange to be in my grandparents' house with my dad, helping him go through their stuff. The place is pretty much cleaned out at this point. It was the second time I’d been there since my grandfather died, and I don’t think it ever feels “normal” to be in the houses of loved ones after they’ve passed away. And though it hasn't been all that long, the emptiness was profound and it already seemed cold and foreign. Combing through boxes of old pictures and artifacts was happy and sad and nostalgic and melancholic all at the same time.
I became emotional and contemplative later, when my mom returned to my brother and me some of the things that we'd given Grandma and Grandpa over the years. I was happy to receive them and to be reminded of all those memories (and will gladly display the metrioshka dolls I bought them in Russia all those years ago), but it was definitely bittersweet. When you give gifts to people you love, you never consider the fact that some day you may be getting those gifts back... And it's a harsh reminder of the fact that one day (hopefully still far off in the future) if all goes as it usually does, my brother and I will face doing these same things in our own parents’ house.
posted by P/O at 5/19/2005 10:04:00 AM
1 Comments:
hmmm. sorry to hear that your grandfather died. it must be strange to receive back those parting gifts, reminders of those times that you had with him. it's been a while since i've been back at my parents' home, but every time i come across something that belonged to my biological brother, there's always that moment when i take a pause and let it sink in.
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