Waking up lonely in a stranger's home.
Fun weekend. Got just about nothing accomplished that I wanted to, but that’s ok I guess. Stumbled in at 3:00 am after D’s party on Friday and then stumbled in at 5:00 am after The Rub on Saturday... So needless to say, my weekend days were largely wasted what with sleeping late and then lying around nursing hangovers and watching Strangers With Candy.
Not feeling too healthy these days, which is understandable and entirely my fault. Gotta start doing something about that. This week I get back to running regularly, going to the gym, and no more heavy drinking or smoking! What the hell have I been thinking?
On Sunday, as I was lying around reading The Da Vinci Code (yes, I finally buckled and figured I might as well read it this week so that I can return it to D&J when I see them this weekend), I kept getting (and subsequently having to shake) that annoying feeling of aloneness I’ve been grappling with as of late. It’s so ridiculous that I could even feel that way after having spent the bulk of my weekend surrounded by friends and having fun. And I’m such a damn paradox! It’s like I walk around craving human contact, and then when I get it I can’t stand it and all I want is to be alone, which is oh so much easier. But then when I am alone, it doesn’t feel easier at all.
Speaking of which, at D’s party on Friday night, I hung out with E for a while. It was good to catch up (more than we were able to when we ran into each other a couple of weeks ago), and we had fun chatting about single life and living alone in small studio apartments. So after I told her about my recent fling(s), she asked me if I was ready to be dating, and whether I’d be open to being set up with someone. Seems there’s some guy she thinks I have a lot in common with. And although I have to say I’m more than a little curious about who E sees as "my type," I ultimately told her that I just needed some time on my own.
So it’s not permanently off the table, but we’re just gonna leave that one alone for now.
Not feeling too healthy these days, which is understandable and entirely my fault. Gotta start doing something about that. This week I get back to running regularly, going to the gym, and no more heavy drinking or smoking! What the hell have I been thinking?
On Sunday, as I was lying around reading The Da Vinci Code (yes, I finally buckled and figured I might as well read it this week so that I can return it to D&J when I see them this weekend), I kept getting (and subsequently having to shake) that annoying feeling of aloneness I’ve been grappling with as of late. It’s so ridiculous that I could even feel that way after having spent the bulk of my weekend surrounded by friends and having fun. And I’m such a damn paradox! It’s like I walk around craving human contact, and then when I get it I can’t stand it and all I want is to be alone, which is oh so much easier. But then when I am alone, it doesn’t feel easier at all.
Speaking of which, at D’s party on Friday night, I hung out with E for a while. It was good to catch up (more than we were able to when we ran into each other a couple of weeks ago), and we had fun chatting about single life and living alone in small studio apartments. So after I told her about my recent fling(s), she asked me if I was ready to be dating, and whether I’d be open to being set up with someone. Seems there’s some guy she thinks I have a lot in common with. And although I have to say I’m more than a little curious about who E sees as "my type," I ultimately told her that I just needed some time on my own.
So it’s not permanently off the table, but we’re just gonna leave that one alone for now.
posted by P/O at 5/10/2005 11:29:00 AM
2 Comments:
but yes we all crave it...the hunger to be around other humans...and then when we get it, we just want to crawl back into our own caves...every other day i feel that, back and forth. it's an intolerable ache that i want to feed. i think it's great that you are taking some time off on your own. if he is right for you, then he can wait.
ain't that the truth... hey, i like your blog, by the way.
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