Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky.

I think I need a drug habit. Seriously. Heroin sounds nice. I know some people have a thing about needles, but they’ve never bothered me. In fact, the track marks could be just the amount of character my otherwise nondescript arms need. Everything about me is just so mind-numbingly average, and this is something that could really set me apart, I think. I am an American. Average bad. Different good.

Yeah. That’s what I need. Something to kind of soften the edges, blur the periphery of it all. I mean honestly, what do I need to be clean for? If anything, it will help my productivity and creative output to be somewhat checked out; not be so interminably pensive, always thinking thinking thinking. It’s time to start doing. Consequences be damned.

I know what you’re thinking. Why not start smaller. X or crystal or some such thing. Why jump right into the hard, super addictive stuff without passing through the fun, lesser gateways. But I’ve always felt, you know, if you’re going to do something, well then why not go all the way? Why tiptoe when a good flying leap is so much more exciting and potentially rewarding? Besides, I don’t personally know anyone who’s hooked on heroin. I’ll be a real trailblazer in my circles.

Man, why didn’t I come up with this sooner? To think, so much time spent searching for satisfaction and fulfillment, when all this time the answer was staring me right in the face. Time to wake up and smell the horse(s)!