The generous one is the strongest stance.

Damn, what a crap day that was. Stupid waste of a business trip, horrible train ride back, lots of work to do upon my return, awkwardness and discomfort at home... Ugh. I hate Amtrak. Hate it. Sucks I end up relying on it so much. But ok, it was actually good to see some of those folks (K especially), so I guess the day wasn’t a total waste. And at least I was able to get in a good workout, so all was not lost. But I still hate Amtrak.

It’s funny how conditioned we are to want—things, relationships, success, love, you name it—and yet when I really think about it, the only thing that leads to anything even approaching a feeling of fulfillment is the act of giving, not receiving. Desire is natural of course (I mean, what would be the point of life if we just wandered through it with no goals, no hopes, no aspirations), but how is it that we often fall victim to valuing accumulation above all else? To the idea that happiness can actually be achieved by getting something? And then of course, the realization that the getting hasn’t magically made us happy just leads to either disappointment or, more likely, the desire for something else.

And yet, if I say that the only real satisfaction comes from giving—whether it’s the giving of things, time, love, whatever—well then, doesn’t the act of giving then become really about the act of getting (if we are in fact getting a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment in return), thereby canceling out the giving and making it once again all about the getting?

Ow. My brain hurts.