Everything is temporary, anyway.

Sometimes the fleeting nature of this life is so damn comforting. I sometimes yield to the angst-causing tendency to believe that if I feel one way now, well then I’m going to feel that way forever; if things are one way now, well dammit, they’re going to be that way forever. And in the moments where I see through that and realize that nothing lasts forever, everything is temporary, it’s like breathing a huge sigh of relief. Like all of a sudden being free of some heavy burden. Such a comfort, and such a release.

I guess I’ve always had this tendency to quietly obsess over things. But it only really becomes an issue when there are things to obsess over. Ha ha. Which I guess there never really are, since they’ll eventually be gone. Or replaced by something else. Which I will then have to fight the urge to obsess over.

So I'm wondering about tonight and hanging out with K&J. It's like, do I say anything at all about my current "situation" and if so, how much? I'm torn about whether it's at the point where I should be discussing it with friends (that makes it all so real) or whether to just keep my mouth shut for everyone's benefit. But on some level, it's like I want to get it out there. And on some level I don't. J&D asked me some questions on Saturday night, and I totally clammed up. It was probably for the best, but I didn't feel 100% great about it afterwards... But who cares, because that feeling was only temporary. Anyway.