This little squirrel I used to be, slammed her bike down the stairs.

There’s a half-marathon this weekend—one in an annual series of five half-marathons that spans the course of the year, and all five boroughs of New York City. This one is in Brooklyn. And it kind of makes me sad. Sad because I really want to run it, and know that there’s no way I could do it right now.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve run many half-marathons in my life, and know that they’re well within my abilities. But this one is definitely outside of my reach. I haven’t really run diligently in months, and having gone out and done a quick five miles over the weekend, I know that 13.1 is just not within the realm of possibility for me right now. That’s frustrating. I hate coming upon signs of steps taken backward. That’s even worse than stagnation, which is frustrating enough.

But now I have a goal: get myself into shape and able to run the next one in April, in Queens. Nice. I like goals.