Like car parts, bottles, and cutlery. Or whatever I find lying around.

File this one under “Further Proof that P/O is no Domestic God(dess).”

I recently got a letter from ConEd expressing their concern that my gas meter might be broken, as it has recorded no activity for some period of time.

Silly ConEd, there’s nothing wrong with the meter. It’s just that the only thing that uses gas in my apartment is that big metal shelving unit in the kitchen where I pile everything I don’t know what to do with. I think some might call it a stove?

Yeah, that thing hasn’t been turned on for months...