And I choose to win.

I often come out of weekends like this one convinced that I am simply incapable of happiness. I mean, the past 72 hours have included so much goodness—gorgeous weather in the mountains (before the heavens opened up, anyway), good times with good friends in the midst of a busy workday, a warm and satisfying Seder surrounded by some of my nearest and dearest, good conversation, great sex—and yet, come Monday all I can feel is bleakness and negativity.

See? Incapable of happiness.

Instead of focusing on all that is positive, I watch my mind veer constantly toward the memories of things that are decidedly negative. Things like crises at work, reprimands from superiors, dear friends lying in hospital beds far away, difficult conversations with people I love, general anxiety and unease... These are the thoughts that occupy my mind as I go through my day.

But then again, if I really think about it, I realize that if I’ve been learning anything about my own moods and states of being, it’s that I often fall prey to this way of thinking when I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. And I’m definitely exhausted. And portions of the past few days have been more than a little overwhelming.

So there. I reserve judgment on my mental state until I’ve at least had a good night’s sleep. Good night.