I'm not the hero I could be, but not the dog I was.
Friends of the family upon being told, by my parents, that I’ve been regularly fucking a member of my own sex:
“Is he being safe???”
While reminding myself to be touched by their concern, I find this hilarious for a few reasons:
First, the obvious fact that, were I fucking a member of the opposite sex, this question would never even cross their minds. Or if it did, they certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable or justified in verbalizing it.
Second, it’s interesting that they choose now, a time when I find myself once again in some sort of relationship, to express their urgent concern for my well being. I mean, it seems to me that the time to really be concerned about anyone’s sexual safety is when they’re single, right? I highly doubt I’m the exception to the rule when I say that, as far as I’m concerned, being single sure as hell doesn’t mean being celibate. And that being non-celibate sure as hell doesn’t mean being non-celibate repeatedly with the same one or two (or three, or four...) people. And yet, when “So how’re the kids?” has come up in the past, and my folks have no doubt responded with things like, “Oh you know, P/O’s still single...still playing the field...still sowing his wild oats, nyuk nyuk,” I highly doubt that my safe-sex practices were noted with any great concern.
And finally, in consideration of the vague nature of the word “safe,” I can only guess at the definition they’re using. And should I be correct in my assumption, well then, let’s just say I could be being a hell of a lot "safer."
“Is he being safe???”
While reminding myself to be touched by their concern, I find this hilarious for a few reasons:
First, the obvious fact that, were I fucking a member of the opposite sex, this question would never even cross their minds. Or if it did, they certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable or justified in verbalizing it.
Second, it’s interesting that they choose now, a time when I find myself once again in some sort of relationship, to express their urgent concern for my well being. I mean, it seems to me that the time to really be concerned about anyone’s sexual safety is when they’re single, right? I highly doubt I’m the exception to the rule when I say that, as far as I’m concerned, being single sure as hell doesn’t mean being celibate. And that being non-celibate sure as hell doesn’t mean being non-celibate repeatedly with the same one or two (or three, or four...) people. And yet, when “So how’re the kids?” has come up in the past, and my folks have no doubt responded with things like, “Oh you know, P/O’s still single...still playing the field...still sowing his wild oats, nyuk nyuk,” I highly doubt that my safe-sex practices were noted with any great concern.
And finally, in consideration of the vague nature of the word “safe,” I can only guess at the definition they’re using. And should I be correct in my assumption, well then, let’s just say I could be being a hell of a lot "safer."
posted by P/O at 3/31/2006 10:46:00 AM
3 Comments:
See I totally think they are asking about whether or not you are being careful when attempting drunken piggy-back rides at 4:00 in the morning. Though I hope your parents respond "Don't know, but has Madge passed menopause yet so she can be off the pill?" That would be classic!
It's always something with parents. Regardless of the situation, they always say the wrong things. lol It's a special trait you get when you have kids I think. ;) I'll be reading my daughters blog one day thinking, mad I'm an asshole. lol
It's weird, it goes along with the social acceptance to say, "you look great; did you lose weight?" but not, "your teeth look a little yellower."
Why are some things so off limits and some not?
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