And I'm so high, I can't go on.

And this morning, where there once was so much hate, suddenly there was only love.

I know this may be hard to believe (ha!), but a lot of times, things really piss me off. Especially on the subway. And on the street. And in the office. And... Aw hell, who am I kidding. Everything pisses me off. Or I should say, everything has the potential to piss me off.

Especially the subway. We’ve covered this territory before... Guess it’s just something about the crowds, the delays, the noise, the close proximity of all those people. Hate it. And usually, when I’m feeling such hate, it gets transferred to pretty much everything in my surroundings as well. For instance, I cease to see living, breathing human beings pressed into my personal space all around me, and instead see faceless, nameless, inanimate, mortal enemies put on this earth only to annoy me and obstruct my progress between points A and B. (Well, and to serve me my coffee and bagel, thanks.)

But this morning was one of those rare mornings where, for no reason at all, everything was different. Suddenly, I saw living, breathing, beautiful people all around me, just trying to get through their day, just like me. Standing near me was a big man, chewing happily on a piece of bread. Where normally I would have been all, “Yo pig, knock it off. No one wants to see you eat. Gross,” this morning I was more, “Yeah, you enjoy that roll, man. Bread is good, and I hope it’s satisfying your hunger. Rock on.”

Sitting in front of me was a girl removing a pill from its plastic blister packaging, getting ready to send it traveling down her throat. Now normally I probably would have been like, “Yo bitch, this is the subway, not your doctor’s office. Put that shit away and for godsake, sit still. Fuck!” But this morning I was like, “Yeah, that’s right pretty lady, take care of yourself. What’s that? You need some water? Here, help yourself to my bottle.” Next to the pill-popper was a woman who actually had the gall to be breathing the oxygen in the train car. Now where I usually would have felt like... Well, you get the idea.

So how is it that hate can turn to love with no intervention at all from the outside world? How is it that we can react drastically different to the same situations on any given day? And most importantly, when I’m overwhelmed with feelings of hate and disgust, what can I do to actively shift towards these other feelings of love and acceptance that I do seem to be capable of?

Maybe that’s what the woman in front of me was taking, in pill form.