Imagine doing just what the big bang did.

Strange day so far. Witnessed a screaming match on the subway between a man and a woman, sparked by the man announcing to the crowded (and silent) train car, “Will someone tell me what kind of world we live in where the girls think that they’re so hot that they have to bring their dogs to school with them in a bag?”

Huh?

Well, it didn’t take long to figure out that he was referring to this young woman who did, in fact, have a dog in her bag, Paris Hilton style.

But as we all learned in the screaming, cursing tirade that followed (clearly, this was not the girl to cross this morning), not only was she not going to school, but she was also not a girl, but a full grown woman thank you very much. She has the right to look as young as she wants, you dick, but she is not nearly as young as she looks.

Rather than respond, the man actually backed down and began to slink away to the other side of the train (where he later did attempt to hassle someone else), which only encouraged her ranting and raving. Awesome. A few people in the car giggled, others began hushing her. I could just see this turning into an all-out riot, her dog leaping from its bag and devouring passengers one by one.

When I finally emerged at my stop, I ran into a coworker on the street who proceeded to tell me how he witnessed two near fistfights on his walk to the office. What? Is there something in the air, or some cosmic situation today that I’m not aware of?

So we arrive at our office building, and as we get into the elevator we notice that there’s a photocopied sign taped to the wall. This is not particularly strange, since we have various designers and clothing manufacturers in our building who frequently hold sample sales and the like. But as we looked closer, we noticed that this sign was concerned with organic, healthy coffee. Um, ok. Whatever. We could use some organic healthy coffee in the neighborhood, I suppose. But it’s worth noting that “the neighborhood” is midtown Manhattan, in the illustrious Garment (Fashion?) District. And yet this sign, advertising a cafe that sells organic coffee and other healthy delights, noted at the very bottom that this heavenly oasis was actually located in Harlem, a good 100 blocks from our office building.

Well, that’s useful. Way to know your audience, stealthy marketer! Given the atmosphere in NYC this morning, if I had seen the guy taping this totally irrelevant poster to the elevator wall, I think I would have punched him.

Ok, maybe not. But welcome to a day in the life of P/O. It’s been a long week.