She's addicted to nicotine patches.

Dear P/O,

I am a hot twenty-ok-thirty-something Greek goddess who is very much in the habit of resisting the endless advances of dozens of your fellow male New Yorkers. And though it is quite unthinkable, I suddenly find myself in need of your seemingly boundless insight into a situation that has recently cropped up in my seemingly boundless love life.

There’s this guy I often see at the gym where I go to do my salsa dancing, which I love not only for the fun, the workout, and the sheer artistry of the activity itself, but also because the sight of my tall, slim, tanned body engaging in said activity further whips into a frenzy the aforementioned male New Yorkers of which I am so fond.

So this guy (unsurprisingly) has taken an interest in me, and I have told him, in no uncertain terms (in my pleasantly accented voice that seems to drive you boys so wild), that I am not interested in dating him. Thing is, he is very persistent, and he happens to own a shoe store of which I am quite fond, but which I have never been able to patronize due to its position way outside of my current budget. Well, he has taken to insisting that I pay him a little visit at work, during which he will of course hook me up.

Not wanting to encourage his advances, I have not taken him up on his offer, and have as yet avoided making an appearance at the shoe store. But yesterday, in the middle of the day, he appeared at my office with a large bouquet of flowers—much to the amusement of my coworkers, all of whom were gathered for a staff meeting at the time of his arrival!

I fear I was rude to him with my quick and embarrassed “thank you” and rapid closing of the door in his face. And as such, I am contemplating visiting his store to thank him properly. (And if I get some steeply discounted shoes in the process, well then so be it...)

I have been advised by two of my male coworkers that stopping by the store is the worst thing I can do if I want to avoid encouraging him, with one particularly witty coworker noting that, “No matter how cheap they are, those will be the most expensive shoes you’ve ever bought!”

But oh how I want them. What do I do?

Signed,
Shoe Lover In Conflict


Dear SLIC,

Shut up.

Signed,
P/O