I wanna see you sideways. I wanna make it better.

I accidentally took two vitamins today. Oops. Now I feel shitty. Coincidence? Psychosomatic? Completely unrelated? Who knows. But I do know that I hate taking pills. Always have. Just the idea of so much of god-knows-what being packed into such a little thing, poised and ready to dissolve in my stomach and invade my body at a moment’s notice, has always felt...suspect to me. I generally don’t even take aspirin or any of its cousins for run-of-the-mill aches and pains. In some way, I don’t think I ever got past the mind-blowing childhood question of how it “knows where to go.”

So when I realized what I had done this morning, I honestly had a moment of panic in which I considered making myself puke—as if I had ingested poison or “accidentally” swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills or something. Instead, I checked myself, took a deep breath, and was later reassured by my assistant asserting helpfully that I would probably just “pee it out.” Phew. So regardless of how accurate that assertion may or may not be, it did the trick. Finger remained out of throat—breakfast remained unpuked.

Though I guess I do still kind of believe that the rapid introduction of 200% of my body’s daily vitamin and mineral needs is why I have a raging headache right now. And since I’m not normal, you won’t be hearing me say, “Pass the aspirin.”

I’ll be under my desk if you need me.