I turn left, and you turn...left.
Today I saw a kamikaze rat attack a woman in the legs. I’m not even kidding. She was just standing there on the sidewalk. Just STANDING THERE, minding her own business, when this crazed rat—the size of a small cat!—charged across the otherwise empty sidewalk (it was early in the morning) and slammed into her legs, grasping wildly with its paws before disappearing into some nearby bushes.
The best part is that it was so sudden and so random that the woman never even saw it coming. When she felt something slam into her legs she instinctively jumped out of its way, only to turn to me and gasp, “What was that??!?!?”
“Um, that was a...rat,” I said in disbelief.
“Oh my GOD! I thought it was a...ball or something...”
We both stood bewildered for a moment, she collecting herself, and I still wondering if I’d really seen what I just saw.
“That was ridiculous!” I said, unhelpfully.
“Well it sure was a wake-up,” she said, still dazed.
Horrified, I wished her a good day, and continued on my way. Moments of disgust alternated with moments of hilarity, where I struggled to keep my laughter inside. But really. I mean, really.
Only in New York.
The best part is that it was so sudden and so random that the woman never even saw it coming. When she felt something slam into her legs she instinctively jumped out of its way, only to turn to me and gasp, “What was that??!?!?”
“Um, that was a...rat,” I said in disbelief.
“Oh my GOD! I thought it was a...ball or something...”
We both stood bewildered for a moment, she collecting herself, and I still wondering if I’d really seen what I just saw.
“That was ridiculous!” I said, unhelpfully.
“Well it sure was a wake-up,” she said, still dazed.
Horrified, I wished her a good day, and continued on my way. Moments of disgust alternated with moments of hilarity, where I struggled to keep my laughter inside. But really. I mean, really.
Only in New York.
posted by P/O at 9/20/2006 05:10:00 PM
5 Comments:
Never, ever, ever tell this story again. This is my wife's worst nightmare. I have her convinced that the rats will stay away because they are more afraid of her. Now this. Thanks!
I thought of this story tonight when I walked to the bus stop. A big (not nearly as big as yours, though) rat went scurrying by and visions of your account of this went through my head. I cried just a bit.
That's the kind of shit that keeps me here. I'm sure that seems counterintuitive to anyone who doesn't live here, but I know you know what I mean. This is why people think New Yorkers are inherently disturbed. And of course, they're right.
I'm a sceared!
Well, tell that random woman to rest easy as someone placed a hit on that rat. I found him dead on the sidewalk this morning as I walked to work.
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