Can it be the storm has passed?
No, but passing, maybe. I definitely find myself having better control of my moods these days. That’s not to say that it’s easy (I wonder if it ever will be), but I can say that I feel much more like I am exerting control over them, rather than the other way around.
Things I have learned (and actually started to believe):
*My happiness is mine alone, and not dependant upon anyone else, nor contingent upon anyone else’s.
*My suffering does not help to relieve the suffering of others. It’s one thing to be empathic and to do what I can where I can; it is another thing entirely to be a martyr.
*The mind and the body need not function separately. When I feel myself slipping almost entirely into my head, I actually do have the ability to force myself back into my body. And doing so is an amazing thing. To some this may sound simple, and to others it may sound obtuse and ridiculous. For me, it has been revolutionary.
*Any act of creation feels better than stagnation. And while an act of destruction may seem easier and more immediately gratifying, it seldom (if ever) has the lasting gratification of an equally creative act.
Things I have learned (and actually started to believe):
*My happiness is mine alone, and not dependant upon anyone else, nor contingent upon anyone else’s.
*My suffering does not help to relieve the suffering of others. It’s one thing to be empathic and to do what I can where I can; it is another thing entirely to be a martyr.
*The mind and the body need not function separately. When I feel myself slipping almost entirely into my head, I actually do have the ability to force myself back into my body. And doing so is an amazing thing. To some this may sound simple, and to others it may sound obtuse and ridiculous. For me, it has been revolutionary.
*Any act of creation feels better than stagnation. And while an act of destruction may seem easier and more immediately gratifying, it seldom (if ever) has the lasting gratification of an equally creative act.
posted by P/O at 6/05/2006 10:56:00 AM
3 Comments:
the happiness thing - i agree it has to be something entirely independent. so many times i find myself reaching for it in someone else, even a person that is a "has been."
gosh, as usual, we are on similar planes.
today, however, I elluded first class and somehow got dumped in the back of coach again.
I felt myself slipping, in other words. Was it the weather?
Hormones? I forgot my lexapro?
WTF knows.
But, at least I attempted to meander up the aisle and peer back into first class ...
All things are like a river. We never enter the same river twice.
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