And we've got to get ourselves back to the garden.
So I have some really white-trash facial hair right now. I think it’s funny. I was all, “I need more white trash in my life. How can I achieve that?” And voilá. What can I say. I’m blessed with a persistent and full beard that doesn’t take long to fill in. Instant handle bars. My sister-in-law says I look like I belong on “My Name is Earl.” Suh-weet.
Actually, it’s kind of itchy and gross, and I’ll probably cave and shave it off sooner than later. But there’s this stubborn side of me that’s all, “Screw you, bitches. I’m keeping it whether you like it or not. In fact, maybe I’ll transition to full Fu Manchu. Shit.” See, most of my friends don’t like it. My boyfriend doesn’t like it. In fact, after I shaved this morning he said, “You still have a mustache.”
But it has served an unexpected purpose. See, I went to Fire Island over the Fourth of July weekend (more on that here), and I will say this: there’s nothing like really gross facial hair to help you quickly separate the nice queens you can deal with from the nasty queens you can’t. (Anyone remember my feelings on unfriendly dykes? Yeah well, in case you were wondering, nasty queens have about the same effect.)
Actually, it’s kind of itchy and gross, and I’ll probably cave and shave it off sooner than later. But there’s this stubborn side of me that’s all, “Screw you, bitches. I’m keeping it whether you like it or not. In fact, maybe I’ll transition to full Fu Manchu. Shit.” See, most of my friends don’t like it. My boyfriend doesn’t like it. In fact, after I shaved this morning he said, “You still have a mustache.”
But it has served an unexpected purpose. See, I went to Fire Island over the Fourth of July weekend (more on that here), and I will say this: there’s nothing like really gross facial hair to help you quickly separate the nice queens you can deal with from the nasty queens you can’t. (Anyone remember my feelings on unfriendly dykes? Yeah well, in case you were wondering, nasty queens have about the same effect.)
posted by P/O at 7/06/2006 12:49:00 PM
5 Comments:
Funny you should say that. I was in Fire Island last weekend as well, and I found that a vagina has the same effect as your facial hair seems to have. The bitchy queens were immediately obvious and thus, easily avoided. Very convenient.
I've never considered myself a nasty queen, and certainly would never criticize your facial hair to your...well, face. Especially if I didn't know you.
That said? Ew.
Lol, thats a good reason to keep it then. hehe
My hubby's the same way, shave in the morning, fuzzball by afternoon!
I don't consider myself a bitchy queen (quite the contrary, usually). But I hate facial hair. I've ceded the "soul patch" war to my boyfriend but I told him that the day I wake up to see he has a free-standing 'stache is the day we break up.
helen, i'll take a nice vag over a bithcy queen, any day.
limey and eric, i know just from your comments that neither of you are examples of the nasty queens i'm talking about. there's a *big* difference between disliking something (which we're all free to do) and being bitchy to someone based on that dislike.
hi robyn! :)
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