Thursday, October 13, 2005

Rode in on the back of a heart attack.

I’m going through one of my “Everything is Pointless” periods (not to be confused with an “Everything is Wrong” period, which is an entirely different, though equally confounding animal).

It’s so stupid, because it just comes out of nowhere, seemingly for no reason, and though rationally I know that it’s ridiculous, it’s like I still can’t shake it.

Consciously, I am aware that:

I have a great job.
I have great friends.
I have a great family that is both supportive and blessedly unobtrusive.
I’m dating someone I really like.
I’m perpetually busy with things that I enjoy.

What else is there in life, really? I mean, what more could anyone possibly ask for? And yet, in times like this, I find myself questioning the point of it all. It’s like, so what? So I live each day, doing my job, doing my thing, running around, going to sleep at night, and waking up and doing it all again the next day. Who cares? Where’s the good? Where’s the satisfaction?

I don’t know. Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s my current dearth of physical activity. Maybe it’s the perpetually fucked up state of the world. The hurricanes. The earthquakes. The vileness of public figures. The corruption. The petty obsessions with petty things.

Or maybe it’s just me.

5 Comments:

Blogger ~Manda said...

maybe your scared of just being content, like if your BORINGLY happy... what fun will life be if there is no drama! :) just my thought but it's not like it matters (cause i don't know you) for real... lol
But I know of plenty of people that would sabotage their happiness because being in the "day to day routine" would KILL them! BORED TO DEATH!

10:37 AM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

Damned rain.

Verification word: "djpft", which somehow describes the feeling you're talking about remarkably well. The "pft" part, anyway.

Eat chocolate!

9:22 AM  
Blogger P/O said...

thanks ladies. felonious, chocolate is definitely one of my preferred treatments for most of life's ills.

and manda, very astute comment, whether you know me for real or not.

3:07 PM  
Blogger Robo's Drone said...

Couldn't really have encapsulated my current state any better. Though I'm not 'seeing someone I really like,' I still believe that I'd probably feel the smae way if I were. Gooh. Ambivalence blows.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not just you and you know who this is from.

2:30 PM  

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